A new start

The story is too long to share and honestly, it isn't any of your business.  But I have learned several things along the way that I thought I would share with those who choose to read this blog.  Which by the way is probably zero!  And I am ok with that.

First and foremost, human beings are just that  human beings!  I don't care if you are Christian, Buddhist  white, black, yellow or red, we are all mere mortals.  What do I mean by that?  We are broken, period.  Since Adam and Eve sinned we have been a broken being   We are not perfect.  Am I making my point?  Let me give you an example   I was in the Christian ministry when I committed adultery, that's a little broken don't you think!  The so-called friends that baled out on me, are Christians as well, I don't think baling out on your friend and never speaking to them again, is what Jesus would do.  But I get it, we are broken.  I don't like it! But, because I know that, I am able to respect and love all people better.  Which I think is what Jesus wants us to do, right?  The way our Christian friends have treated us just solidifies the reality that we are in fact all human and broken.  Our treatment validates that and it confirms to me that God, in fact, is real.  What I mean by that is God is the only being who truly forgives and forgets the sins we commit in this life.  There is a caveat to that, the sins we commit are forgiven IF we have accepted Jesus as our savior.  He was sent to die in our place and He did.  So if we are in Christ, God see us through the lens of Jesus.  The best way I can illustrate that is simple; if God is standing in front of us, he sees our sin, hates our sin and has said we cannot be in His presence because of our sin.  That's why he sent Adam and Eve out of paradise.  It's why, in the Old Testament, when God talks to Moses, he can't look at him. So what God did by sending Jesus to die for our sin is so that we too can become sinless in His eyes.  It was His way of giving us an opportunity to choose Him.  If we accept that free gift, Jesus now steps between God and us so that God can only see the sinless Jesus, so we too have become sinless in Gods eyes.  You see, that is why Jesus is so important.  Without Him we have no hope of eternal life.  Our humanness is exactly why we need Jesus.  When I made the choice to leave my ex-wife I really thought that my friends would be there for me.  I expected them to be mad and disappointed, what I didn't expect was total abandonment.  Again that demonstrates to me that no matter who you are or what you call yourself, you and I are human, and that is OK!

I have also pondered what God is really up to in the world.  What is His mission and how do we play apart. I am still thinking about that one and I will the rest of my natural life. What have I come to understand for me?  That God loves me no matter what sin I commit, that God works miracles in the midst of our failures and bad choices and good choices, in other words He is constantly involved.  I don't think He is ever disappointed in us because He sees us though the lens of Jesus who was sinless, as I alluded to earlier.  I think He gives us the knowledge of what is right and wrong and it is up to us to choose what we want to do and we live with the consequences both good and bad.  He has a plan for each of us and this is it, hold on, yes I am going to tell you the meaning of life, are you ready?.....Here it is...Love God, Love people.  That is everyone's calling. I think we as humans try to complicate our mission in life by making shit up, or putting our human labels on things.  I use to call myself a "warrior for the kingdom", I used to say I have a beauty to rescue, an adventure to live, blah blah. I mean no disrespect to anyone who still says that about themselves! I just have a simple command from my Savior  " Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"  Jesus replied: "Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:36-39

That seems pretty clear to me about what I am supposed to do.

A New Normal

A new normal. Why call this blog a new normal?  Simple, when the old normal is gone, a new normal takes its place.  The new normal is what you make of it.  For me it is a much, much happier place! It is continuing to evolve as well.  It's not perfect, but neither is life.  Because life is something that you really can't predict.  I mean you can try to map it out but you never really know what it will bring.

I am sure most people can relate to that, right?  I think humans are wired to try to control things. Especially things that concern our own lives.  You don't plan on bad things happening, in fact, you do everything to avoid bad things from happening, but they do, don't they.

For instance, I had planned to be married to one woman all my life, but things happen, people change.  It takes two people to keep a relationship going and for my plan, it just didn't work out. I won't go into details because if you didn't live it you won't understand it.  I also had several Christian "friends/brothers" who I thought were lifetime friends, only to discover that when the going got tough, they bolted.  In all fairness though, they are humans and they chose sides.  I get that. My sins apparently were too great for them to still be friends with both me and my ex-wife.  And that's ok.  But that is for a different writing to come.

So for now I will leave it there.  I just wanted to start writing again!  I will leave you with this.  I used to hear that there were only "two things you  could count on in life; death and taxes", I would like to add one, change!  Nothing stays the same, we evolve, we change, situations change, we get married, we have kids, they grow up, we change jobs, we make money, we lose money...Change is constant.

There really is a New Normal...

The High Cost of Friendship

I was reading in a recent issue of Relevant Magazine an article of the same title to this blog. In a nut shell the article was about the death of the authors college friend at the tender age of 26. He was lamenting about how, as he looked around the room he realized that this "scene" would eventually repeat itself over and over again until each one of his friends was gone.

I have blogged about some of this before so it wasn't so much that stuff that struck me about this article. It was the high cost of friendship that struck me. I really have never put it into those terms. If you begin to think about it though there is a cost.

Everything we do in life costs us something, whether it's time, energy, money, emotions, whatever, there is a cost associated with it. And friendships come at a really high cost. Especially the deep friendships, the ones that really mean something to us. The author says this, "Friends. real know-you-down-to-your-soul friends, come at a high cost. they guarantee a lifetime of broken hearts as we say goodbye, farewell and amen, again and again, over the course of our lives."

He goes on, "True friendship demands vulnerability. It requires that you rearrange your schedule, and intentionally plan time to spend with other people with no agenda. It demands choice, as sociologists agree that it's only possible to have 8 to 12 'real' friends...".

Wow, how true is that. I believe that God created us for relationships with others. I do, He says that in the book of Genesis, "it's not good for man to be alone", and I believe that to be true. I know in my life, if I didn't have my wife and kids, if I didn't have my close friends, life would be missing something.

Social networking is all the rage, facebook, twitter, linkedn. I love each of them for what they were intended to do, draw people closer. The problem is they have the ability to separate us if we let it happen. For me, I love to see what others are doing because it does make me feel closer, but it is not a substitute for hanging out and having true conversation. THAT is real!

Is friendship worth such a high cost? For me, yes. As a human being I am truly a selfish individual and so are you, but we must fight against that flesh. We must follow our heart, because when you follow your heart, you don't care if your cell phone rings at 3am and one of your friends needs you, you spring into action, that's is how we were originally made, to care and to love people without strings, without judgement!

Now I am just rambling, but since it's my blog I guess I can do that. I will end with this, and I will quote the author of the article again because I couldn't say it better.

"It's very human to try to avoid all pain, but the real question is what kind of pain will we face. We either suffer alone for a lifetime, or choose daily to pay the high cost of friendship."

I choose the high cost. How about you?

Running with God

I wouldn't say that running is a passion for me. I would say that it is a love-like relationship though. Some days I really can't wait to go for a run and other days I just go and like my run. One thing that I love about running is the time I get with God. He seems to really poor thoughts and ideas, visions and dreams while we are running together. Maybe it is the fresh air, or the sky or the trees or just the fact that He gave me a body that is able to run. Whatever it is, I get clarity from Him while we are running.

Yesterday was a special day though that doesn't happen always that you need to hear about...

As I headed out on a beautiful day, I started to feel a heaviness; condemnation, accusation, that sort of heaviness. Thoughts of disqualification, "who are you to think that you can...". I think you know those thoughts. Those thoughts flowed for 15 minutes or so until I took authority in Christ over them and cast them out. I then began a conversation with my running partner, God, about why, about truth and is He really real...

As I was running along this path I noticed that as the wind blew through the trees, here and there, some leaves were falling. I asked God to show me that He is real by allowing me to catch a leaf as it was falling! I know, what was I thinking, but you know, God can do that if He wants. So as I ran I could see leaves falling ahead of me but nothing remotely close to me. So what does a human do? I began to hedge my bets, I said, "God I don't really need to catch a leaf to know you are real, it's OK if you don't want to do that." Me of little faith! In a stern voice I heard, open your palms to me. OK, so I am now running with my palms up. "You are my son, know that I am God, I will provide what you need." Very powerful. I understand that faith is what I need...

So I keep running and make my turn and as I do, the song "Be the Center" comes on my Ipod and God says, this is for you. It is a powerful song, "be the fire in my heart", "the wind in these sails", "the reason that I live". God says, listen to this song, its for you, look around, the sky, the trees, the air, creation, it is all for you! I am in tears, it's true, He is real and I don't need a leaf to prove it...

As the song nears the end and God has blessed me with this incredible sense of His presence and His love, He says one last thing to me. When this song ends I will provide you with your leaf, raise you hand and the leaf will be given to you. Yeah, that was my thought too, I don't need it, I just experienced you in a huge way. But that isn't how God rolls! I thought, well I will raise my hand up and pluck off a leaf from a tree that is hanging over the path. But as I look ahead I don't see any branches that are low enough, so I trust that He will provide it...

As the song ends, I do as instructed, I reach up in the air with my right hand, no branches in reach, but there, as I reach, is one single brown leaf, suspended in mid-air by a single spider web that has dropped down 10ft from the trees above...

I nearly dropped to my knees...He is God...He is Real...Look for Him today...

The Gospel of Sin Management

Sin management. Have you heard this term before? I came across it a couple years ago and have found it to be true of the modern church Sunday morning service. It was how I operated for most of my Christian journey. You know, I am merely a sinner, saved by grace, not perfect just forgiven and any other clever saying associated with a bumper sticker or bracelet you can by at the Christian bookstore. Sin management implies that as a Christian I am now somehow supposed to stop sinning, and manage it so as to not get into trouble, to be a good boy and don't blow it. But what it really is, is fear and guilt, "what if I screw this up", "oh, I screwed up, I am such an idiot". Have you been there, does this resonate in your brain?
So my question was this, "Is this really what Jesus came for, to heal the blind and raise people from the dead for, to be beaten and die for. All so I could be forgiven? Don't get me wrong we need that forgiveness, we need the Cross and what it represents. What I want to know is are we acknowledging the work of the Resurrection and the Ascension? You remember those right, the two other major works of Christ that we seem to only talk about on Easter Sunday. Jesus was raised from the freaking' dead and appeared to his people and ate with them and then while they are standing together ascends into heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father! And the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead and the same Spirit that ascended into heaven lives in me, in you if you choose to believe in Jesus as Lord. That is incredible news.
So how do you break the grips of sin management, and live free? Well go to scripture, read Isaiah 61:1 then go read Luke 4:14-21. Read John 8:32, John 8:36, and Galatians 5:1 to name a few.
Friends, eternal life in Christ is available today. Not when you get to heaven, NOW, today you are eternal you are no longer a sinner saved by grace, you are a son or daughter of God who sometimes sins. You are so much more than who you think you are in Gods eyes. His love for you and who you are unimaginable to you and me and I can't wait to see heaven and live there, but until then we must embrace the FREEDOM Christ came to give us, all of it, forgiveness, new life, his power. Look through the scriptures and see what he calls you, he says you are a saint, you are righteous, seriously go look!
I know this will cause some of you to not read this blog anymore because sin management is comfortable to you, it gives you control. Your life is manageable, you are being a good boy or a good girl. But are you really living? "All men die, not every man really lives." Sin management lead me to be very judgmental of all people especially Christians. I was the Pharisee in Luke 18 who thanked God that I wasn't like others, go read it please, if you read nothing else go read Luke 18:9-14. See which person you are. If you find yourself a pharisee, do what I did, repent and ask God for that forgiveness that we talked about and then live Free.
Jesus said, "But Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it..."
Have you found your life yet? If so, are you willing to lose it to find it?